Grounded
by Omega Overlord
Summary: Larxene, bored, tries to annoy Lexaeus. It will be the worst mistake she will ever make... or the best. Lexaeus Larxene oneshot


Disclaimer: I do not own any characters of Kingdom Hearts portrayed within.

Larxene was waiting in her room. In other words… she was bored out of her mind. Almost everyone else was out on a mission… even DEMYX was out on a mission and she wasn't??? How the hell did Xemnas decide who went or not? The only ones in the castle right now were her, Xemnas… and Lexaeus. She lay on her bed and thought for a long while on whether or not she should try irritating the big oaf. Seriously… did the guy do ANYTHING but lift weights? Her only real concern was that if she did irritate Lexaeus and he took exception to it… he might be able to break her in half with one hand.

After a long while of lying there… bored. She decided that whatever the outcome, she needed to have some fun. She opened a portal to the weight room. Lexaeus was over on the other side of the room, throwing a medicine ball that must have weighed over a ton. She glanced around and saw the giant's weapon, Torn Heaven, leaning against the wall behind Lexaeus. How funny would it be if she hit him over the head with his own weapon?!? She snuck over to the wall, grabbed the handle of the axe-sword in both hands, pulled… and the weapon fell the floor with a loud clang. Pinning one of her hands underneath it. Damn… this thing was heavy, no wonder the Silent Hero worked out all the time.

Lexaeus didn't even look over his shoulder, "…not very smart of you Larxene."

She struggled to pull her hand out from under the axe-sword, "I wouldn't be stuck if you came over here and helped me."

Lexaeus pauses for the briefest of moments… and continues hurling medicine balls across the entire length of the room, "… I think I'll let you sweat it out for a bit."

She snaps back, "that's not how you treat a lady you big oaf!"

Lexaeus does not pause but looks over at her, "I'll treat you like a lady when you start acting like one."

She gives up trying to lift Torn Heaven and plops down onto the floor, "… you're a real ass you know that."

Lexaeus threw his last medicine ball and moved over to a giant set of barbells, but did not respond.

She starts to get irritated, "Hey! I'm talking to you!"

Lexaeus still does not respond, but she sees the slightest hint of a smirk on his face.

Now she was pissed, "let's see if you think this is funny!"

She threw one of her knives, fully sure that it would stick between the Silent Hero's shoulder blades. Lexaeus reaches a hand up behind him and catches the knife between two of his fingers, which then crush the yellow dagger into dust.

She pauses for a moment, how did he know where she was aiming? He was just a muscle bound idiot… was she that predictable?

She throws another verbal barb, "sure, you can humiliate me when I'm pinned under your huge ass weapon, how about taking me on fair and square?"

This time Lexaeus stops what he was doing, "…one condition…"

She snaps back, "name it!"

Lexaeus drops the 500 pound barbell and turns towards her, "I choose the time and place of our conflict."

She flashes the giant an evil smirk, "done. Now when are we going at it."

Lexaeus turned back to his weights, "I'll let you know."

She gave an exasperated scream of frustration and fell back against the floor. After a while of silently watching Lexaeus bench-press three tons (which she found strangely pleasant…) the Silent Hero freed her from the prison of his weapon's weight.

She rubbed her wrist, "have you decided yet?"

Lexaeus gives her a stern look, "I'll let you know."

She gives a huff of irritation, "coward."

The Silent Hero turns away from her and sets Torn Heaven back against the wall. Unfazed by her attempt to rile him up. Frustrated and still bored, she walked out of the weight room.

Lexaeus watched Larxene leave passively. Zexion had warned him that Larxene would try something vaguely like this. What his friend hadn't told him was how utterly amusing it was to put Larxene in her place. She acted like a petulant child that had lost its favorite toy when her pranks went wrong in plain sight. Apparently it was worse when she was stuck like she had just been. As for when he was going to take her up on her challenge… he was going to just swat her against the wall when she turned her back just now but… something told him it would be much better if he came up with something more clever. He pulled a rubix cube out of his pocket, closed his eyes, mixed it up, opened his eyes, and solved it inside of sixty seconds. Now his brain was warmed up for something truly amusing.

Larxene was lying in her bed, dreaming of how much she was going to humiliate Lexaeus. She pictured the giant swinging Torn Heaven in a slow vertical strike that she easily slipped around before she buried her knives in his perfectly sculpted… she shot awake. What. Was. She. Just. Dreaming. About. Sure Lexaeus was _built_ but there was no brain in that head. Was there? Wait… why was her bed moving? And why was she tied to the bed? She looked around wildly and saw various ships floating on a vast body of water. Why was she in Port Royal? This was where Luxord spent all of his time… She turned her head around as far as it would go and caught sight of an orange head of hair protruding just above the back of her bed. Lexaeus was carrying the entire bed in one hand!

The Silent Hero notices her gaze, "… I told you I would let you know. Consider yourself informed."

She notices that Lexaeus was walking out onto the dock, a ball of fear rises in her throat, "what… what are you doing?"

Lexaeus doesn't answer but stops at the end of the dock, her entire bed extended out over the water.

She pictures Lexaeus tossing the bed into the water and leaving her to drown, "you… you wouldn't!!!"

Lexaeus shifts his grip on the base of her bed, "…wrong…"

The giant does not simply throw her bed out into the waves, he holds the bed by the end and dunks her into the water until she thought she would drown. Just when she was about to start crying a portal opens out over the waves.

Lexaeus smirks at her, "hope you like flying."

The Silent Hero hurls her bed like a javelin and sends it through the portal he had opened perfectly. She landed back in her room… how did he do that…?

Lexaeus chuckled to himself as he watched Larxene scream in terror at flying through the air. The look on her face when she realized she was at his utter mercy… was beyond price.

There was a voice from behind him, "that was amusing, what did she do to piss you off?"

He slowly turned around and Luxord was standing behind him, he replied, "she really didn't do anything."

Luxord raised an eyebrow, "so you just tortured her for no reason?"

He chuckles, "no… she challenged me. I reserved the right to choose the time and place of the fight. I chose when she was sound asleep and defenseless."

Luxord starts to laugh, "so she underestimated your intelligence… priceless."

He turns and starts to open a portal, "my thoughts exactly."

Just before he vanishes through the portal Luxord shouts, "be careful Hero, none of us has ever bothered to put Larxene in her place so thoroughly. There might be adverse effects to be had!"

He rolled his eyes as he stepped through the darkness. What could Larxene possibly do to him?

Larxene had just managed to slip one of her hands out of the wet rope. Whatever shock she had felt at Lexaeus outwitting her had been replaced by anger. How dare he? How dare that man use her like a dip stick?!?

She used one of her knives to saw through the rope holding her other hand, "I'm going to… to…" She couldn't verbalize what she wanted to do. She would wait… yes… she would wait until he was asleep and… she would castrate the bastard!!! A small corner of her mind whined that it would be such a waste to do that but she wasn't listening to herself. She waited until Kingdom Hearts was high in the sky… and slipped out of her room, silent as a cat. She crept the short distance to Lexaeus's door, opened it, and stepped into the utter darkness within. After her eyes had almost adjusted completely to the darkness she saw the huge sleeping form of Lexaeus. She crept to the giant's bedside… even slumbering he looked dangerous enough to fear. On a whim she set a hand on his chest… she could literally trace each and every one of his muscles through both the sheet and his coat. She shook herself and raised her knife… she thrust downward with all her might… 'chink' that was the sound her knife made as it skipped off of cold, unyielding stone.

Even in this deep darkness she saw the shadow loom up over her, "…way too predictable…"

She felt something hit her head and she lost consciousness

Lexaeus shook his head as Larxene collapsed after just a tap on the top of the head. The girl was much too predictable to be a threat to anyone who dealt with her enough to learn her habits. She reacted off of remembered emotion far too much to be effective in 'revenge'. As it was always said, 'revenge is a dish best served cold'. Now… what should he do to humiliate her this time…? Or should he be a friendly giant for once? Maybe he just wouldn't be AS mean as last time. He picked Larxene up by her hood… she almost looked… cute… when she was unconscious. She almost looked like a kitten the way he was holding her by the hood… Damn it, now he had to be nice. He slung the unconscious nobody over his shoulder and carried Larxene back to her room. Before unceremoniously dropping Larxene onto her bed he took a few seconds to gaze around the dark interior of the girl's room, flaying knives… the book 'marquis de sade'… various sundry objects that served no discernable purpose… and most of those objects scattered around all over the place. Cleanliness was apparently not her strong suit. He kept his room spotless… an idea hit him. He smirked at Larxene's unconscious form and began to carry out his idea.

Larxene slowly awoke with a pounding headache. Lexaeus sure didn't kid around when retaliating… she was in her room? It made sense that Lexaeus wouldn't have left her lying on the floor of his room… was she… tucked in? Unless she did things while unconscious that left one alternative… Lexaeus… unless Xemnas had taken a random walk into her room (unlikely). She picked her head up and reached in the general direction of where she kept some painkillers (why she didn't know)… what the? Her room was clean?!? So now this was Lexaeus's idea of a joke? Cleaning her room… oh shit… now she didn't know where anything was. Now she had to admit that the Silent Hero was more than just a walking tower of muscle. There was no way the recent events could have happened otherwise. Maybe she should go and talk to him…

Lexaeus had just moved onto the third part of his daily workout routine when he heard the weight room door open. He didn't even have to look to know that it was Larxene.

He shot over his shoulder, "come to say something?"

Larxene sounded a lot different when she wasn't angry, "yes… I will admit that I was wrong about you."

He set the weight down and turns around, "that's it?"

Larxene crossed her arms and pouted, "that's all you're getting out of me."

He crossed his arms and smirked, "stubborn are you?"

He walked closer and Larxene was forced to crane her neck back to look at him, "you have no idea."

He scoops Larxene up with one arm, so she was pretty much sitting in his hand, "not nearly as stubborn as I am."

Larxene traces the lines of his massive build with one finger, "we'll see."


End file.
